- Be yourself - be honest about your strengths and weaknesses
- Don't let a position's requirements stand in your way
- Make your expectations clear
To whom it may concern,To make a long story short, Erskine got the job!
I am very interested in your Research Specialist position. Although I have none of the skills you listed, I am confident my overwhelming sense of entitlement will win you over.
A series of bizarre and unfortunate lab accidents has left me without the use of the left side of my body. I also have syphillus, but that is a long story. Anyway, when the insurance money ran out I decided it was time to get back in the game. Word to your mother.
The only thing I request, other than the $85k/yr, is that the lights in the lab be dimmed when I am working - too much stimulation gives me seizures and/or provokes violence in me. I am also profoundly racist, so please do what you need to do in that area. I will reveal my gender to you, in private, when I feel the time is right.
I have tried to enlist references but their phones appear to be blocking my number so I doubt you would have better luck. The gang at Top2Bottom knows me pretty well so just ask around.